Feeling Safe With God: Healing Shame and Spiritual Trauma
Episode 16
Hi there my friend,
You might have noticed it’s been a minute since I’ve shown up here in this space. Not because I’ve forgotten about things here in Substack land, but more because I’ve been taking some time to cast some vision, and the dreams I have for what I want it to become here seem to have paralyzed me a little. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Anyway. You’ll probably notice that today looks much the same as the others. (Apparently, my pace is super slow.) But keep your eyes peeled for some upcoming changes.
Today’s episode is the second part of my conversation with Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Ruth Friend. We talk about shame and what happens when someone grows up in an environment where shame and fear are part of what shapes their identity. We talk about how integrity — not performance or perfection — is the only foundation for a relationship with God that doesn’t re-traumatize you.
Here it is:
Toward the end, Ruth offers a way to reconnect with God that doesn’t require forcing yourself into someone else’s version of faith but that honors your story, your wiring, and your genuine self, so here are those questions in the form of four journal prompts. I hope you find them helpful.
Practicing Honesty: Four Prompts for Feeling Safe With God
Inspired by my conversation with Licensed Clinical Counselor Ruth Friend
1. Who am I?
This one shifts every day.
But the rule — the only rule — is this: answer it in a way that doesn’t reinforce shame.
It’s not about pretending.
It’s about telling the truth in a way that doesn’t wound you.
2. What are my intentions for today?
Intentions are not goals or tasks. They are more like direction.
Intentions help you move through the day with clarity instead of pressure.
They remind you that you’re allowed to choose how you show up.
3. What is my purpose?
This one took Ruth years to articulate.
Purpose isn’t a sentence you craft — it’s a truth you uncover.
Purpose isn’t about productivity.
It’s about identity.
It’s about remembering who you are when shame tries to rewrite the story.
4. What am I grateful for?
Not general gratitude. Specific gratitude.
Remember this…
Remember, each relationship has its own language. That’s true with God, too.
You are allowed to be who God created you to be.
You are allowed to connect with God in the way that fits your wiring, your story, your nervous system, your personality.
There isn’t one right way.
There isn’t one spiritual style.
There isn’t one emotional posture that makes you “good.”
There is only the way you were made — and the God who meets you there.
If you try these prompts this week, I’d love to hear what they open up for you.
Praying from right here in the middle of all this,
Bria